Murphy Laws on Work
(compiled from e-mail received)
” Murphy ’s Laws On Work ”
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1) The first 90% of the project takes 90% of the time , the last
10% takes other 90% time.
2> Don’t be irreplacable if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be
promoted.
3> Never ask two questions in a business letter, the reply
will discuss the one in which you are least interested.
and say nothing about the other.
4> When the boss’s talk about improving productivity, they
are never talking about themselves.
5> If at first you don’t succeed, Try ,try again.
the quit.No use being a damn fool about it.
6> Keep your bosss’s boss off your boss’s back.
7> Everything can be filed under the “miscelleneous”
8> Never delay the end of the meeting or the beginning of a cocktail
party.
9> To err is a human - to forgive is not company policy.
10> Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn’t the work he is
supposed to do.
11> The last person who quit or was fired will be held responsible for
everything that goes wrong - until the next person quits or is
fired.
12> The more pretentious the corporate name , the smaller the organisa
tion (For instance : the Murphy centre for codification of Human
and Organisational Law, contrasted to IBM,GM,AT&T …)
13> If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are
really good, you will get out of it.
14> You are always doing something marginal when your boss drops by your
desk.
15> If someone says he will do something ” without fail ” he won’t.
16> People who go to the conferences are the ones who shouldn’t.
17> People are always available for work in the past tense.
18> AT work, the authority of a person is inversely propositional to
the number of pens that person is carrying.
19> You will always get the greatest recognition for doing the job you
least like.
20> Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.
21> Following the rules won’t get the job done.
22> No matter how much you do , you never do enough.
23> The longer the title the less important the job.
24> Machines that have broken down will perfectly when the repairmen
arrives.
25> An “acceptable” level of unemployment means that the government
economist to whom it is acceptable still has the job.
26> Once the job is fouled up. anything done to improve it makes it
worse.
27> All vacations and holidays present problems except for the ones
own.
28> Success is the matter of the luck just ask any failure.
29) If you can`t get your work done in 24 hours, work night
30) A pat on the back is only fewcentimeters from a kick in the pants.
31) It doesnt mater what you do.It only matters what you say
you’ve done and what you’re going to do.
32) After any salary raise, you will have less money left at the
end of the month than you did before.
33) The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to
get.
34) You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a
clipboard.
35) Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning, and nothing
worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
36) There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your
car when the boss asks for a lift home from the office.
37) The Boss is always right.
38) Mother said there would be days like this ,but she never said
there’d be so many.
39) In case of atomic attack, all work rules will be temporarily
suspended.
40) People don`t make he same mistake twice: they make it three
times, four times,or five times.
41) If it wasn`t for the last minute, nothing would get done.
42) When you don`t know what to do , walk fast and look worried.
43) No one gets sick on wednesdays.
44) When confronted by a difficult problem ,you can solve it more
easily by redusing it to the question, “How would the Lone Ranger
have handled this? ”
45) Around here, progress is made on alternative tuesday.
46) The employee who has performed his/her labors faithfully and
without fault for five years will be given an increase of
five cents per day in his pay provided profits permit it.
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Great! Thank you very much!
I always wanted to write in my blog something like that. Can I take part of your post to my site?
Of course, I will add backlink?
Regards, Reader